In this sacred hour
As I meet with Death,
I brush myself off
And steady my limbs.
Though my spirit
Rattles violently within me,
I will yet hold
My head up high.
My priestly garments
Are my delusions come undone.
My holy shroud
Is this darkness most unyielding.
My final Eucharist
Is the bread of unfulfilled dreams
Blackened, charred, and, bitter.
But my daily sustenance
Has been my memory of you
Last Christmas Eve
You said
Your favourite colour was blue
So I surprised you
With a baby blue scarf.
I took you ice-skating
For your very first time.
You were a mass
Of twinkling delight.
You held my hand
To steady yourself.
And now I hold this memory
To steady myself.
Darling, my darling,
All men bleed
Some of the time.
Some men bleed
All of the time.
I am
Some man.
I won’t burden you
With why I did what I did.
Passions, dreams of progress,
The eternal fever
For a brand new world.
These things
Are behind us now.
I’ve fought,
I’ve bled,
I’ve lost.
I see you’re wearing
Your favourite blue dress.
How dignified you look
As fate turns you
From wife into widow.
If I had the powers of divinity,
I would will
The imminent flow of my blood
To be your favourite shade of blue
Just to let you know
How much I still love you.
My last offering of comfort
To a most worthy woman.
Why do I feel so cold
The time has come
For the curtains of my life
To be drawn forcefully shut
And for the doors of eternity
To be flung wide open.
Under this dimming blue light
I must bid my goodbye
And wish you well
For the rest of your years.
